Thursday, 9 July 2009

Kaadhalin Deepam


kaadhalin dheepam onru aetrinaalae en nenjil 
oodalil vandha sondham koodalil kanda inbam 
mayakkam enna kaadhal vaazhga (kaadhalin) 


naetru poal inru illai inru poal naalai illai 
anbilae vaazhum nenjil aayiram paadalae 
onrudhaan ennam enraal uravudhaan kaadhalae 
ennam yaavum solla vaa (kaadhalin) 


ennai naan thaedith thaedi unnidam kandu kondaen 
ponnilae poovai allum punnagai minnudhae 
kannilae gaandham vaiththa kavidhayaip paaduthae 
anbae inbam solla vaa (kaadhalin)

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

I believe I can fly




I used to think that I could not go on 
And life was nothing but an awful song.
But now I know the meaning of true love 
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms
If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door 
I believe I can fly 
I believe I can fly 
I believe I can fly
See I was on the verge of breaking down 
Sometimes silence can seem so loud 
There are miracles in life I must achieve 
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh
If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door 
I believe I can fly 
I believe I can fly 
I believe I can fly

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Love@Charminar

The City of Pearls? "How could people wear a stone, a something that came out naturally from the sea?" I thought to myself. The Pearl! What a celestial creation! I was excited about my trip to the city of pearls…nah, its not there down under Sea. It's pretty much on the surface and people call it Hyderabad! The Hussian Sagar Lake! First thought! The Salar Jung museum quickly took over Thought# 1 Oh yeah, Gautam Buddha statue….thought process re-routed to the lake, to Thought#1. Golconda Fort…hmmm…Thought#3….of course, how can I not think of Biriyani?!?! Thought#4. Biriyani@Thought#5. Biriyani@Thought#6. Scratch Scratch…ppssstt! Charminar! My Last thought….and I fell asleep.
I got up next morning and quickly rushed to have a city tour. I rented the first auto rickshaw that I sighted…and asked, "Charminar???" Huh? Why did I say Charminar? Perhaps because it was my last thought of yesterday? I should've probably blurted "The Lake". Never mind, now I didn't want to antagonise the driver. The drivers of auto-rickshaws across any metro in India possess some unique and not-so-much talked about power. Their power of control over your travel could surely limit your freedom and you'd rather want to be in his good books to have a safe and secured travel. Oh my god! The people we have to suck up to….! I did breathe fine, when my charioteer chose to drive by the lake, (It was almost like he read my thoughts about wanting to see the lake…I told you, they had powers!) and soon, it seemed to me that all I did for the last sometime was travel…over bumps and speed crackers…and over traffic signals and flyovers….
As we were wading through the never ending stream of vehicles – Vehicles!!! Oh my god. Their exists here a religion called "Driving" and has various sects namely Four Wheelers (With an obvious dent), Four Wheelers (With no dent), Three Wheelers (The Masters of the Game), Two
Wheelers (The Survivors) and the many many wheelers… I don't understand when and where people learn the tricks of the driving trade. It is purely divine intervention that almost all of the driving population gets back home in one piece. The vehicles take upon themselves the attitudes of the drivers….. What? A revelation! Are vehicles women? Hmmm…on the outset, you have to look glamorous, have a fantastic interior and eventually be carried away or hit upon, all the while depending on the driver and men are totally crazy about them! Yeah yeah…Confirmed. Vehicles are totally SHE!
After close to forty five minutes of wading through a variety of women (Did I say Women? I meant vehicles…), the charioteer..Ooops! The driver abruptly came to a halt and said, "Bole to madam, Charminar aa gaya!" As I got out of the rickshaw, my first view of the Charminar: the sun shone straight into my eyes! The silhouette of the tower was a striking beauty and the sun's
brightness engulfed all possible attention the tower could get. I was awestruck. It certainly was love at first sight.

The tall towers, the striking small sized arena, the vacuum inside, the depth, the inscriptions, the little windows…I don't know which particular feature over powered the other, but in totality – The Charminar was a beauty and I'll leave the gender aside. I saw the sun again, trying to blind my vision. I squinted to see the silhouette image again. The dome shaped towers; I looked at them one by one. I came to understand the vastness of the tower when I had a complete look from top to bottom. I felt peace. The same peace I experienced when I first visited Paris and saw the Eiffel Tower. Its gigantic composition overwhelmed me completely. It is a kind of a universal power I felt that the tower had. I felt humbled. I felt small. I felt really small. And I also felt that my individuality was succumbing to the greater Divinity and We were merged as One! It was Total Consciousness I was experiencing. It was a moment of bliss, a moment of satisfaction. I became oblivious to the surroundings and was totally smitten in peace. Honestly, I was experiencing the same feelings here. I did not stop to analyze the why and what of the situation. I just let go and enjoyed.
As I walked by the Charminar… its imposing beauty always within my purview….I felt I was floating. The numerous hawkers around selling bangles and bangles and more bangles……the small shop owners who were selling pickles, garlands, bags, clothing, religious paraphernalia and more bangles did not seem to distract my attention. That undivided attention that I was giving to the Charminar. What's more! I was mute to the noise the denizens, who outnumbered the hawkers in manifold made. I spent close to four hours walking around the Charminar experiencing all those wonderful ethereal feelings……..completely hypnotised, refusing to step down to reality.
The place is a must see, the feeling is a must experience…..I am thinking, may be I should even move over to Hyderabad. Oh my god! The side effects of love…..!

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Religion?

I offered to take a very troubled and desperate friend to a place of worship of my choice. As soon as the offer was made....there was a gurgle...a cynical smile. I persued, "So, when do you think we can go?" On seeing my insistence, the friend said, "I don't think I can quite accept your religion and its customs and pray to your God."
KP: "Come on, I am not asking you to convert, just visit." 
Friend: "Hmmm...I don't think so...but then yeah, may be like a visitor. Like a traveller..."
KP: "Traveler?? Am I asking for a photograph to be taken? Alright! You don't have to follow any of the prescribed customs, not even salute my God. But I have faith in the power there, and will you trust my faith and come at least for my sake?"
My friend smiles.... No answer.
KP: "I thought you were broad-minded! I thought you understood that there is only ONE God and but only the paths are many. You do know that there is only ONE God, dont you?"
Friend: "Listen...can we actually talk later?"
KP: "No. I am sorry but then there is nothing left to talk about this later. I am sorry I even pushed you to embarrassment...asking you questions you dont have answers for....Let you remain steadfast in your faith. And don't ever worry about it. I won't talk of this at all....."
And then we held hands and walked together.....


I have a big goal - One World One Family One God. When will we all live in harmony? We are talking of peace in the world...when peace seems to be a distant dream even amongst immediate neighbhours. Oh God! Do you see how religion has separated us from You? Only Love unites. I Love You, God!

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Make Love Not War

'Why do we shout in anger?' A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?' His disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'

'But, why do you shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?' The disciples gave a lot of other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.' 

Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other. 

'Moral' said the saint, 'When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return!'

- What a great lesson, someone ANONYMOUS can teach you?!! Learn from it!

Thursday, 9 April 2009

Car Rally


Car Rally for the Visually Impaired? After an enriching first-hand experience, I choose to call it - “Car Rally with the Visually Impaired”.
“Car Rally for the Visually Impaired” – read the subject line from a friend of the first email in my inbox. Overpowering the temptation to look into any other mail, I quickly opened this one. There went a formal invitation asking for people to register to participate in the event to be held in a week’s time. And what interested me the most was – the navigator was to be a visually-impaired person! Let alone the innumerable races with fellow-passengers on crowded roads, varied attempts to emphasise speed as my motto, I had never before participated in a formal rally and this one seemed a desirable opportunity. I called and quickly registered. I needed two more participants, to be sourced from my end and the navigator would be provided for by the organizers – Madras Motor Sports Club (MMSC) and National Association for the Blind, Chennai (NAB). I zeroed in on two of my trustworthy friends – Suchi, to be my mathematician and Shony, to be the co-navigator.
On Saturday, the eve of the rally – we had an orientation programme. The three of us presented ourselves on time, to find the hall packed with people who had arrived way before time. The coordinator from MMSC started his speech and invariably led the group to a series of formulae – Speed equals Distance multiplied by 60 divided by time taken…and used words like “be there at the right time in the right speed maintaining the right distance…of course, ensure that you are in the right direction as well.” I felt a steam of hot air evaporating from my head. Suchi looked at me from the end of the row and nodded – that why-are-we-even-here look pierced deep within me. I hoped to find solace from Shony, who seemed to be looking around, totally avoiding my gaze. I had no idea what the coordinator was saying. To me and am sure to many others, he was merely rambling away. Seated right behind us were a group of 3 visually-impaired men constantly chattering (thereby distracting me from paying attention to the physics or mathematical lecture). Since I was not paying to the lecture anyways, I started observing them. One young man, in particular seemed to make jokes on almost every line that the coordinator said and comment on everything around in general.
Internally, I knew – He was to be my navigator. I quietly went up to him, introduced myself and asked if he was allotted any driver. On answering in the affirmative, I asked if he would be my navigator – to which he cheerfully agreed! A decision had been made – Thiru was to be my Navigator. Mid-way the lecture, I understood that we had the option of brining in our navigators. I quickly went up the registration counter, lest they allot me a random navigator. To my dismay, they had! I had Thiru with me and we behaved like the best of friends and started heated arguments with those at the registration desk. The registration desk was in a chaotic mess – new entrants waiting to sign in, older ones screaming for their ‘competition number’, few others finding out who’s their navigator, and here we wanted to be on the same team. Finally after a lot of pressure from my end, the desk re-allotted me my navigator and Thiru gracefully and officially became a part of our team – Competition Number 24.

I introduced Thiru to the other team mates, who thought he was randomly allotted. (I told them much later that he was a chosen one!!) The first remark that Thiru made to all the three of us was – “You don’t worry madam(s), we will surely win a trophy”. Phew! What a sigh of relief we all heaved! I liked the confidence he had. We were given sample Braille Tulip maps, if we wanted to test drive.  “Please be here at 8.30 tomorrow morning.” I heard someone announce. We chose not to test drive and parted ways. As I saw Thiru walk away, I heard him giggle to his friends, “I have three ladies in my team.”

29th March 2009 dawned. I didn’t have a good night’s sleep – sleeplessness caused out of sheer excitement. Shony and Suchi met early morning to discuss the math involved and practise on formulae’s and calculations – while I was briskly cleaning my car! When all the three of us were done – each one was satisfied with one’s own individual contribution to the rally, the preliminary activities that needed little or no intervention from the other, of course. We reached Savera Hotel, the place where the rally was to be held at 8.30 (On the dot) and saw cars of different makes and colours all lined up for the event. I proudly parked mine amidst the other competitors. Big, loud stickers bearing the competition number were on three sides of every car. The yellow sticker stood out on the white surface of my car! We found Thiru who was his usual self – chatting and laughing with his little group. The organisers gave all the navigators a cap and a bag filled with goodies as compliments.

We were four seated in the car. Suchi, the math geek sat in the front with me, while Shony and Thiru shared the rear. “Priya, you better drive slow, and just listen to what the mathematician has to tell you”, said Thiru. Shony and Suchi chuckled. Celebrities flagged off the first few cars. We were in line. Each car was to start at one-minute intervals. The car in front of us left and we were given the Braille tulip map with the time sheets. Thiru almost snatched the map and started reading it. Shony took position: Taking down notes. We were now at the gate. People cheered from all sides wishing us luck!

10 – 9 – 8 – 7 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 – Go!

And the first few meters….I had no idea of the route? “T-Junction. Turn right. Drive at 18 kmph”, said Shony. While I was at 18 kmph, Thiru and Shony managed to makes notes of the route and quickly passed it to Suchi – who then gave me directions and speed instructions. “Take the first right, after the signal. Drive at 18 kmph at the time taken for this would be 17 minutes.” “5 Cross-roads go straight at 24 kmph and you’re on the right track.” “T-Junction, turn left at 12 kmph and be there at the 12th minute” “Enter Kasturi Estate Ist Main Road at 30 kmph and be there at the 7th minute”. “Time equals speed multiplied by 60 divided by the distance”, I murmured the words. “Would you like to do the math”, Suchi offered. I avoided the question trying to concentrate on driving. I was at 18 kmph.

Each of us had a specific role to play – Thiru was the first one to read out the route map given to him in Braille. Shony took notes – didn’t miss out a word that Thiru read. The calculations were then done by Suchi and finally I drove at a particular speed against a set time….we were four interlinked. It was complete integration – of skill and labour and brain and technique.

 “Drive for 20 minutes at 12 kmph? Do you guys know that it is a task driving at that speed?” I asked. “It is a rally madam, not a race”, Thiru jeered. And the three of us laughed. We passed our first Time Control Marshall, someone who would stamp our time sheets and enter the time. If we missed a Marshall, we were to be charged 30 penalty points. Being early at aMarshall costed 2 penalty points for every minute and being late costed 1. At a time when we should have been driving at 18 kmph, I started speeding out of sheer exhaustion. As I was speeding away, I noticed a couple of cars driving at snails pace in the extreme left of the road. As I pointed out the cars, Thiru remarked, “That’s the pace you must drive at. Drive slow now.” The odometer showed 10 kpmh. I increased the speed to 18 kmph. Thiru and Shony had completely translated from Braille and Suchi was left with the entire math. She broke down the parts to bits and pieces and gave me the solved puzzle. I was the only one left to drive at the right speed. I finally succumbed to following all of the instructions – to the T. Many Marshalls passed and we stamped our sheets at every one of them. Thiru predicted a few places where the Marshalls would be, and yes, they were there!

It was ten minutes past the allotted time when we drove back to the starting point. Many cars had arrived. The Marshall stamped our last time-sheet and the rally was officially over. The 2.5 hour rally seemed to me like Zen Meditation – I was oblivious to my surroundings. 4 hours later came the prize distribution ceremony. Novice Category, the third prize goes to Competition No: 28 – Driver: Marian Pais & Navigator: M.Muthiseli. Clap Clap! Clap Clap! The second prize goes to Competition No: 24 – Driver: Priya Krishnaswamy & Navigator: R.Thirunavukarasu. Clap Clap! Clap Clap! And the first prize goes to Competition No: 18 – Driver: Senthil Kumar & Navigator: M.Kannan. Clap Clap! Clap Clap! Thiru was all smiles as he heard his name being called. He looked around in pride as the audience applauded. I leaned over and said to him, “So, how does it feel?” He looked back at said, “Feels good and do you feel good too?” “Oh yeah! Winners! That’s who we are”, I said as Shony and Suchi gave me sharp piercing looks. I moved over to Thiru’s side. It was a moment to cherish as Thiru and the three of us went up to get our trophy and certificates in Braille. When the ceremony got over and we said our good-bye’s, Thiru pulled me over and said, “Good Driving Priya. Make sure we are partners’ next time as well. So long farewell!” 

                

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Miracle...




Wanted to let you know that I stunned the doctor who told me that I had Psoriasis. He said he was certain it was and now there are no traits of it - and all I am left with is some ring worm/fungal infection. The patches have almost turned normal...merging into regular skin...except on two or three places...I have no 'desperate' itching and am doing well.

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Story Writing

Sads,
The concept that i am thinking of involves 3 teenage girls (of course!) and the way their life changes over the years.....Inital chapter has some introduction to these characters ...

1. One girl goes abroad to study meets a young man and  falls in love. But fate takes her back home to take care of her ill father. She never marries and through letter knows the progress of her lovers life. Though many men fall in love with her, She refuses to part with her memories of the past.
2. Another one moves to europe (to study or work not decided), falls in love with a girl. Marries a guy following parental pressure. Goes back, mental conflict. Divorces. Comes back as the other girl refuses to be a part of her for life. Meets a young man, who has his own reasons not to marry and finally settles down with him for the society.
3. The last one moves to middle east and am not sure of an exiciting story to pull through
Ending:Something feel good...:-)
Let me know what u guys think, I dont think i can let most of the people i know to reivew this book:-) [and that includes my mom!]
Love
Shon

Thursday, 19 March 2009

Last Letter


P,
Phew - been a long day, just wrapped up my work. The bed looks inviting and my body aches, but wanted to write this email to you before I crash.
Ok. It looks like I am not going to be getting the call-log of my mobile after all.
As I told you a few days ago, I wanted to bring closure to this issue AFTER I had sent you the log. But looks like I am not getting that log.
I am writing this out of respect that I have for what we shared and for what it has meant to me in the past. 
I feel I had been treated very unfairly. I feel hurt that you chose to believe something about me without checking with me first. I am disappointed that you didn't have the courage to talk to me honestly about it. I am disappointed that you continued to pretend, perhaps even to yourself, that you "never doubted my integrity". I feel foolish for talking to you about what I was going through in my life.
As someone said, it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it. This time I was lucky. I am afraid that the next time I won't be. One has to go through it to understand the pain and turmoil it causes.
I have always brought a high level of authenticity, compassion and empathy to every relationship. Perhaps you don't value these things. What has happened is gone, and no amount of wanting, wishing, or regret will undo or change what's already happened. However, I am finding it hard to accept that and move on.
In a way whatever happened may be for my good too - because it clearly helped me see people in perspective.
Please understand that I am NOT trying to blame you or be judgmental about what happened - I just want to tell you what I feel. So - I am not looking for a response or discussion or argument from you. I am not asking you to FIX anything. It's all about me and what I feel...
All I ask of you is not to get involved my life and I too will not get involved in yours. 
Wish you all the best,
- M

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Miracle Moment


Every moment is a miracle. Though we often take this world and this life for granted, the fact is that we exist, experience and even thrive against unimaginable odds.

You're already a winner because you are here today, living and breathing, capable of making decisions, thinking thoughts, taking action and accomplishing great things. A whole miraculous universe is available to you here in this moment. Those people who are able to tap into just a fraction of their potential enjoy stunning levels of success and achievement. Imagine what would happen if you were to do the same, right now.

Though you've made mistakes, though others may have hurt you, though you may be weary and filled with regret, still this life is full of positive possibilities for you. Step back for a moment and look at the whole picture. Consider the boundless magnitude of your good fortune. Live every moment as if it were the most miraculous thing you could ever imagine, because it is.

- From yet another ANONYMOUS teacher....

Monday, 23 February 2009

Just when...



Just when life could not be any better... You walk into it with a smile Just when I think that no new soul would ever matter... You show me your spirit with pride Just when I smile into your eyes... You jump many strides ahead in the bond Just when I hope for a forever friend... You pull on a fast one Just when I think that no one can hurt... You teach me that no one can hurt more Just when I look for the safety net... You made me realise that it is a mirage Just when I heal... You decide to look away Just when I want you... You will already be there...

- SA

Saturday, 14 February 2009

Happy Valentine's Day


Dearest You...
We might not be in the pink of our relationship...we might have stopped being a couple...all of that doesn't matter. What matters now really is just the fact - that we both still love each other...that kind of a feeling that has risen above mundane relationships. I know that it has not dried out as yet...and we can still certainly tell each other - I Love You.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day - and I cant think really think of anyone else, except you...So, wanted to take this opportunity to let you know that I Love You very much - despite our differences....the distance....the stages of our lives...etc....and you mean a lot to me.
Take care and know for sure that you are a certain part of my life - and I am thankful to you for being a part of it!
Happy Valentine's Day!
With Lots of Love,
Me

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

25 things about me


1. I want to Sleep for erratic hours...sometimes 13 or 14...and on other days for just 6.
2. I love to drink Cola whenever I feel like, without anyone around grumbling - but I quit... :(
3. I wish I could brush my teeth every alternate day or hmmm....whenever....
4. I spend a lot of time trying to know the tricks of the trade, rather than learning the trade.
5. Technology is my religion and every new invention is my GOD. I succumb to technology!
6. Pssst!! Shh! Its called Lizard-o-Phobia and I score the most in it! Eeeek...one of His lousiest creations! I am so scared of that very word...Lizz....nah nah...don't say another time...Shhhh!
7. I believe in being bold and having No Fear! The word "Impossible" is hard to find.
8. The lazy bones in my body keep popping their heads off and on these days....
9. Oh Wow! Vodka...and I am a Smirn Off Fan! Cheers ;-)
10. "Black" is the coolest colour I've ever seen. The colour of my clothes mostly mirror my thoughts! And currently my wardrobe is ALL Black....and so what thoughts do I have? ;-) Shady Ones? :) 
11. Art of any form is great! To me, it is a perfect expression of the soul...Perfect!
12. Am very very MoooooooooooooDy! Yeah so? When I want to be left alone, ALONE it is. 
13. I enjoy driving....It takes a lot to be a skilled driver..and I'm getting there...
14. My holidays are jam-packed. I follow the route-map and my back-pack has all essentials! A perfect busy busy holiday is a fantastic stress buster.
15. I have given up all hopes of losing weight. I am happy that I exist. The rest all is immaterial. 
16. The telephone is for your convenience, not the callers. I don't pick the calls when my phone rings. I screen calls big time. 
17. I am obsessed with playing the Guitar. I think of it as a fantasy....to be able to play well!
18. I think I have a Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - with respect to Cleaning & Timing. Am irritatingly Finicky and Sweaky Clean......I know...I know.... I hate it too....
19. Malayalam is sweeter than nectar. It is the most romantic language ever....and I cannot speak it.
20. The smallest of details are important to me. Yeah Yeah. It sure is. My eyes are open to all details and I am a very keen observer.
21. I enjoy hanging out with friends, cracking all the way and having fun! Knowing you have friends you can count on - is my strength. Networking is crucial!
22. Well...I have High Blood Pressure (Yeah! Already!) and am under treatment for the last one year now. Am sure, u didn't see that one coming. 
23. My Weakness: My Mother
My Strength: Faith in God
24. I have invested a lot in My FrReDoM - and will travel long distances in protecting it. 
25. A Secret: I wanted to move to the forests and settle down like a hermit...but guess, this world is one huge forest and being simple and good does pretty much for the hermit. 

Thursday, 29 January 2009



Moko Kahan Dhundhere Bande
Mein To Tere Paas Mein

Na Teerath Mein, Na Moorat Mein
Na Ekant Niwas Mein
Na Mandir Mein, Na Masjid Mein
Na Kashi Kailas Mein

Na Mein Jap Mein, Na Mein Tap Mein
Na Mein Barat Upaas Mein
Na Mein Kiriya Karm Mein Rehta
Nahin Jog Sanyas Mein

Nahin Pran Mein Nahin Pind Mein
Na Brahmand Akas Mein
Na Mein Prakuti Prawar Gufa Mein
Nahin Swasan Ki Swans Mein

Khoji Hoye Turat Mil Jaoon
Ik Pal Ki Talash Mein
Kaheth Kabir Suno Bhai Sadho
Mein To Hun Viswash Mein...

- Sant Kabir Das

Sunday, 25 January 2009

Divorce

The thoughts of divorce first came to my mind, not with our first differences of opinions but probably with the last. Probably when I thought, "This is it!" I sometimes think or wish it would be easier for me to merely say that my spouse is a drunkard or has an extra marital affair. And I really wish I could get away citing more commonly accepted excuses. When at the first time I met my advocate in an attempt to understand the intricacies that this chapter of my life could throw before me, I understood that they were simple and in no manner melodramatic as they show in the movies. Towards the end of our serious discussion when my advocate told me that I would have to very clearly state the reasons for my seeking a legal divorce of mutual consent, I was left seeking help. Words refused to flow out. Ah words! Thoughts refuse to take shape...What could be the 'clear reason', I thought to myself. The advocate was still looking at me waiting for an answer. Finally unable to give him any certain answer I asked, "So sir, do you think you could give me some choices?" And there he was looking at me aghast! As he left I could over hear him say, "Is she always like this or has the separation made her this way?" Well, I've left it for people to reason out for themselves what could probably be the cause of my legal separation but when close friends ask, all that I say is, "He is a beautiful individual and so am I. It is a pity that we are indeed not that beautiful when we are a couple..."