My Father

My mother told me, 'Time heals everything. Just give Time, some time..." Most certainly, it does. However, there are a few things that surpass the boundaries of time. Time only makes it more real. The memories remind me of what he was & who he was. Even though I have come to terms with my father's death - what I have sometimes not come to terms is the fact that he is gone, forever. And every day brings a new realisation that he's never coming back to this earth.

It feels funny that you think of your father and talk to thin air. Words that are meant for him to hear are left unheard. Most of the times, you reach out to hold hands that are no longer stretched towards you. I will never hear his voice, laugh hard at his amazing jokes, walk up to him for my pocket money or just be around him. I miss my father...

With him being around - I think that's the most secured place his little girl can feel. Just knowing that dad was there was good enough. My father and I did not share a relationship where we exchanged words of love. In fact, it was with him that I fought most often. He was the proudest whenever I excelled. In me, he saw his strength. To understand the impact of the love and pride he had for me, I had to 'not' have him around. Strange are the ways of life.

Today, when I react to a situation or crack a joke or say something or even walk around, I realise how much of my 'father' lies prominently in me. Must say, the genes have been handed over exceedingly well. And as I perform each of these tasks, the more of myself I see, the more of my father I feel...

Impressions of my father now appear so minor and all his attributes seem more important. More important and far more appreciated now. He wasn't perfect by any means but he didn't allow his imperfections to claim who he was. He was he & that's all there was. There just is no replacement for you!

Remembering you daddy, just like on every other day, on your 3rd death anniversary.  Since, I haven't said this many times when you were around, hear me out, one more time...I Love You...


PRIYA KRISHNASWAMY  (Your little girl with your name right after mine...)